.."got my blood sample taken today..i somehow felt the needle prick..i miss pain"..

.."late for a job interview..how am i supposed to come to work if the shift starts at 3 A.M??i don't want to sleep in the sleeping quarters..anyway i'm not yet hired,still need to wait for one last call"..

.."Supercell's song Kimi no Shira nai Monogatari is stuck in my head,i feel like i'm starting to look like Manaka-chan,the listless,empty,preoccupied,blank,troubled,sad look"..

.."i'm trying to fish out words out of my head..i remember writing something a week ago but the words felt empty,the alarm rings but i don't get up i just go back to sleep..it's getting harder everyday to wake up..keep telling myself i'd get a job and i end up walking..just walking 'round..even the slow deacy of life has no effect to me..time is running out for me..4 years and 8 months more if this keeps up..then it's time to make a choice..rather than to become a victim..i remember asking myself if this is what it feels like to be disenchanted,i have no drive,no desire..this given life,things that people do,things that i HAVE to do is UNDESIRABLE..i feel i've corrupted myself inside..sometimes whenever i see a character that most people normally see as bad/evil i try to reserve judgement..'cause i've seen far to many instances that this so called "bad/evil? people are victims themselves..they fell prey to the world 'round them..are they really that way OR is it the things 'round them that made them that way..though you can walk a different path,there's no denying that you'll be affected one way or another..there's no escaping the filth..it's like poison running in your veins that's been passed down to you..i think someone "up there" just made one big mistake regarding creation"..

..i just read a journal entry 'bout some girl giving her first blowjob..i think she made quite a mess..maybe that's the reason why i was able to write something today.

..i think it was much better if i didn't have a facebook account..it's just useless..

..i need to wake up or is this just a dream???